Peter Pettigrew and the Idolary Curse
by Winged-Marauder
Summary: Snape hexes Sirius so that he idolizes Peter Pettigrew. Peter evilly uses it to his advantage. Sirius irons Peter's pants and Remus recognizes irony when he sees it.
1. Snape's Curse

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns everything. Oh, wait...wrong disclaimer. J.K. Rolling, wonderful woman that she is (although I'm beginning to doubt about read a certain chapter in a certain book) owns all. Sometimes, I think, even me.  
  
Notes: Aaaah. This is my first Harry Potter fic, and I'm nervous as hell. So, no flames please, because...well. Not too good for the old moral, if you catch my meaning.

* * *

Deep inside the Hogwarts castle, in the darkest, most secluded corner of the North tower, a tall, greasy-haired Slytherin with a hooked nose lurked, rubbing his hands together and cackling quietly to himself. He looked at the giant grandfather clock across the hall and his evil, sadistic grin grew wider. It was almost time, now. The nefarious potion that he had bribed a house elf to slip into Sirius Black's pumpkin juice would take effect at the stroke of midnight.  
  
He gleefully watched the clock change from 7: 23 to 7:24. He cackled again, startling some 3rd year Ravenclaws who happened to be walking by at that moment. They ran down the hall before they could get a glimpse of the shadowed figure i the dark corner, screaming about Peeves. Severus Snape only laughed more loudly and maniacally.  
  
His laughing had dulled to quietly amused giggles when the Hufflepuff prefect stormed up to his corner, dragged him out of the shadows, told him to stop behing dramatic and pulled him back to the Slytherin dormitory by his ear. It didn't matter, though, because the truly evil deed had already been committed. When morning came around, Sirius Black would regret that he had ever gotten out of bed in the first place.  
  
Secretly, Severus Snape thought that one day he could be powerful enough to enslave the world, but he'd settle for petty revenge on shallow Gryffindors for now.

* * *

When Sirius Black woke up on Saturday, his hair was sticking up in all sorts of random angles and he had fallen asleep on his arm, which, in turn, had fallen asleep and was now throbbing with a pins-and-needles sensation that was quite infuriating. He crawled out of bed miserably and was about to head into the bathroom to see if he could do anything about the whole bedhead thing, when a head randomly materialized in this air.  
  
Sirius gave a shout and stumbled back in shock, before realizing that the random head was his best friend, James Potter, and regaining his composure. 'Best friend except for Peter,' Sirius thought suddenly. He blinked.'Where did that come from?'  
  
Throwing off his invisibility cloak, James stood in the middle of the Gryffindor dormitory in his Jedi Knight pajamas, panting heavily as if he had just been running.  
  
"Sirius!" he exclaimed excitedly.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked, wondering where Peter was.  
  
"Well, I was under the invisibility cloak, and-" James was interrupted by a loud, over-dramatic yawn from Peter's bed.  
  
"I'm awake," he announced contentedly, as if he thought he needed to tell someone that so that they would understand. He said his habitually every morning, and usually nobody payed him much mind. This morning, however, upon those words Sirius' eyes widened and he grinned.  
  
"Peter! You're awake! Thank God, life is always so dull without your pleasant anecdotes!" Sirius chriped uncharacteristically. Peter looked at him, amazed. James look at him as well, only looking very creeped out and a little bit disgusted as well. Remus Lupin walked in and raised an eyebrow at the look James was giving Sirius. James ran a hand through his messy hair, smiling sheepishly.  
  
"Really?" Peter asked, sounding happily relieved. "You think my anecdotes are pleasant?" Sirius nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"Yeah! I mean, that muggle story you told last week? Hilarious!" Peter smiled.  
  
"I was waiting for somebody to get it and laugh," he admitted, practically glowing.  
  
"I got it," James admitted.  
  
"So did I," added Remus. Peter blinked, and his face screwed up confusion.  
  
"Then why didn't you laugh?" he asked, completely befuddled. Remus and James exchanged a look.  
  
James suddenly remembered what it was he'd wanted to say before Peter's dramatic yawning had interrupted him.  
  
"Sirius!" James repeated, tapping Sirius roughly on the shoulder to get his attention.  
  
"Hmm?" Sirius asked, staring unwaveringly at Peter, who was still trying to figure out why his lame joke hadn't prompted a laugh (he'd laughed himself silly when he'd heard it).  
  
"Look, I was under the invisibility cloak, and I saw something interesting, and I think-" James began, before Sirius turned to look at him rather irritably.  
  
"Look, James, for the millionth time: Moaning Myrtle will never agree to go out with you. Primarily because she's dead, so don't even try," Sirius snapped. James gasped and looked offended.  
  
"Sirius, you promised you wouldn't tell!" James protested, eyeing Remus and Peter. Peter was looking thoughtful and Remus looked like he didn't want to know. James shook his head, trying to clear his embarrassment. "No, Sirius! I think Snape is plotting something against us!"  
  
Sirius waved him off distractedly.  
  
"You always say that," he said. James shook his head.  
  
"But I'm serious this time!" (Here Peter was about to make a very bad pun on James' words and Sirius' name, but by the time he had worked it out in his head so that it was worded perfectly, James had continued speaking and the moment was lost). "I saw Snape, and he was muttering gleefully to himself..."  
  
"In the shadows?!" asked Remus, who was now somewhat concerned. James nodded vigorously.  
  
"Yes! Something about getting revenge..." James stressed. Sirius scoffed.  
  
"What can Snivellus possibly do to us? We've got Peter!" he announced happily. Peter looked surprised, but smiled widely at the praise. James looked frightened. Remus bit his lip nervously.  
  
"That's right!" Peter exclaimed. "Now lets go to breakfast, I'm starved," he added, before jumping up from bed and heading to his trunk to get some clothes. Sirius went into the bathroom to see if he could do something about his unfortunate case of bedhead.  
  
"Does Sirius want something from Peter?" Remus asked James under his breath when Sirius had gone and Peter was busily humming some Broadway tune to himself whilst sorting through his Gryffindor-embroidered socks. James shrugged.  
  
"I hope so," he replied, casting a worried look in Sirius' direction.

* * *

The four Marauders entered the Great Hall fifteen minutes later. Sirius was a bit miffed that he had been unable to do anything about his poufy hair, and the porridge that had materialized in front of him as he sat down was lumpy and smelled fetid, but none of that mattered right now, because Peter was in the world.  
  
Sirius smiled at Peter in between bites. James was still trying to figure out why Sirius had decided to play a prank on Peter without telling him first about it. Peter, meanwhile, obliviously finished the last of his porridge, scanning the bottom of the bowl for more. He sighed when no refills magically appeared.  
  
"I'm still hungry," he said mournfully. Sirius raised his head from his own bowl, spoon midway to his mouth, and looked from his bowl to Peter's. Eagerly, he trust his own bowl under Peter's nose.  
  
"You can have mine, Peter!" he said eagerly. Peter smiled.  
  
"Thanks, Sirius!" he replied, before hunching over his second helping of porridge merrily. Sirius looked utterly elated.  
  
"I still can't figure out what Snape is going to do," James said, staring at the table, deep in thought.  
  
"Maybe he's already done it," Remus said dryly. James looked over at him questioningly.  
  
"What?" he asked. Remus shook his head.  
  
"Nevermind," he said ironically. James returned to thinking, and Sirius returned to trying to get his hair to lay flat.  
  
Remus looked up when he heard loud cackling from the Slytherin table. He looked over just in time to see Snape laughing evilly and pointing in their general direction. A chronically depressed Slytherin named Fred whacked Snape on the back to quiet him down. Snape grumbled and glared, before hunching back over his porridge and grudgingly taking another spoonful.  
  
"Snape!" Remus blurted out suddenly, something clicking in his mind. All three Marauders turned to look at him. James followed Remus' line of vision.  
  
"What about him?" he asked, glaring at Snape's back. Snape whirled around and stuck his tongue out of James, before smiling evilly and turning back around. James blinked at the entire exchange.  
  
"I think he's hexed Sirius," Remus explained, putting down his spoon. "I mean, that might be why Sirius is suddenly so obsessed with Peter..." he suggested, glancing at Sirius quickly.  
  
"What? That's ridiculous, why would someone need to hex to me make me idolize Peter? He's already extremely talented and funny and...oh," the smile faded from Sirius' face as he contempated Remus' words. "Oh my God, it's true!" Sirius cried, burrying his face in his arms and causing several Ravenclaws to look over to the Gryffindor table moodily.  
  
"Of course," James muttered to himself, although Sirius wasn't listening. "It's the perfect revenge!"  
  
"I wouldn't say it's the perfect revenge. If fact, I'd say it's a pretty stupid form of revenge. What's the point? Peter is already Sirius' friend," Remus pointed out.  
  
"But taken for granted!" Peter burst out. James and Remus (Sirius was still banging his head on the table) stared at him questioningly. He blushed and lowered his gaze sheepishly, apologizing for his uncharacteristic outburst.  
  
"Who knows how Snivellus' twisted mind works?!" James exclaimed, banging his fist on the table and causing the breakfast dishes to clatter. "Sirius will probably do anything Peter wants!"  
  
Peter's head snapped up at this, and he looked evilly intrigued.  
  
"Really?" he asked, rubbing his hands together. "So, if I said, write a musical about my life, you'd do it?" he asked Sirius. "I'm on it," Sirius announced, digging a piece of parchment out of his bag and beginning to jott down notes. Peter squealed in delight.  
  
"Don't exploit him while he's in this state, Peter!" Remus said sternly. Sirius waved him off with the hand that still held his feather quill, accidently splattering him with ink with the action.  
  
"Don't, Moony! I want to do it! Peter deserves his own musical!" Sirius protested, scribbling madly on the piece of parchment. Peter smiled triumphantly. 'Finally,' he thought.  
  
"You don't know how to write music!" Remus argued. Sirius shrugged.  
  
"I'll figure it out," he said easily, brushing a strand of poofy hair away from his eyes as he wrote. James sighed.  
  
"Should we tell Dumbledore?" Remus asked.  
  
"No!" cried James and Peter simultaniously.  
  
"My own musical!" Peter protested.  
  
"If we tell Dumbledore, we'll have to tell him that we did something to Snivellus that made him want revenge in the first place!" James argued.  
  
"Well, we can't let him go on like this..." Remus said, gesturing to Sirius, who was humming the opening number from Peter's musical.  
  
"Alright," James sighed. "Let's try to look it up in the library first. If we can't find anything, THEN we'll talk to Dumbledore," he compromised. Remus nodded, sighing.  
  
"Hey, what rhymes with 'croutons'?" Sirius asked. James stood immediately and headed off in the direction of the library.

* * *

"Sirius?" Remus asked later, approaching Sirius, who was sitting, legs crossed, in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, holding something dark in his hands. His hair seemed to poof out even more with the firelight dancing off it (he still hadn't been able to get a brush through it). He ignored Remus, and continued with what he was going. "Sirius!" Remus said, a bit louder this time. Sirius looked up quickly from shining Peter's shoes.  
  
"Peter, I'm almost...oh," he looked disappointed when he saw it was Remus, and turned back to his polishing. "Hi, Moony," he said, sounding depressed. Remus narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Peter went to bed," Remus told Sirius. Sirius' eyes flew to the clock. It was seven o'clock on the nose. He jumped to his feet, holding Wormtail's freshly-polished shoes in one hand.  
  
"But I have to give him his shoes!" he exclaimed, holding up the shoes so that Remus could see their lustre. "Besides, I think he's got the right idea, going to bed early. Don't want to be tired tomorrow," he added, before running up the stairs after Peter.  
  
"But, it's Saturday," Remus argued lamely, but Sirius was already gone. He sighed.  
  
James stormed back into the common room, the portrait closing behind him. He was carrying a large, leather-bound book under one arm. He dropped down into a red velvet chair, sighing dramatically.  
  
"Did you find anything?" Remus asked, facing him. James shook his head.  
  
"Just that it will eventually wear off," he said. "Don't look so happy, it could take anywhere from three days to three years. We could have Peter- worshipping Sirius on our hands forever. There wasn't much on the subject," he said, placing the leather-bound book on his lap.  
  
"What's the book for, then?" Remus asked, sitting down on the couch. James covered the title sheepishly.  
  
"Nothing. Not anything about Quiddich, anyway," he said quickly, his gaze shifting around suspiciously. He opened the book slightly and peeked inside, trying to hide the illustrations from Remus. Remus sighed dramatically.

* * *

"Hey, Sirius, guess what? The spell's only temporary," James said to Sirius in Transfiguration class on Monday. Sirius looked up from his writing slowly. A pile of used parchment was stacked beside him. James had a feeling that it wasn't his Transfiguration homework.  
  
"Not now, James, I'm writing scene two of Peter's musical," Sirius said distractedly, turning his gaze back to the piece of parchment. James leaned over his shoulder, trying to get a look at what he was writing. Sirius whacked him with his quill.  
  
"Ow!" James complained, rubbing his forehead. Sirius picked up the piece of parchment and held it away from his eyes, squinting at it.  
  
"It needs a title," he announced, dropping the paper on the desk.James thought for a moment.  
  
"What about 'Little Orphan Peter'?" James suggested. Sirius blinked.  
  
"What?" he asked, refusing to believe that James was serious (had Peter been there, he certainly would have made some sort of pun). James shrugged sheepishly.  
  
"It's a muggle musical," he said, turning back to his Transfiguration notes. Sirius thought for a moment.  
  
"How do you like this? Peter: The boy who lived," he suggested, writing it down quickly. Remus wrinkled his nose.  
  
"No way. Who would respect a character with that sort of title tacked onto his name?" he asked, laughing shortly.  
  
"I think all chances of this musical gaining respect will be squashed when they show the dancing rats in the previews," Sirius pointed out, deciding to go with the 'Boy Who Lived' title.  
  
"Dancing rats? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Remus said, trying to keep his voice low so that the teacher wouldn't overhear them.  
  
"Well, thats why there isn't a Remus musical, is there? You're way too cynical," Sirius told him, giving some character named Gregor another line.  
  
"Dancing rats? This sounds kind of interesting, can I see it?" James broke in again, trying to get a look at the paper again.  
  
"No! Not until it's done!" Sirian argued, grabbing the paper and holding it away from James.  
  
"You let Peter see it!" argued James jealously.  
  
"It's HIS musical. He wants to make sure I'm not getting any of the facts wrong," Sirius explained. JAmes looked thoughtfu  
  
"I guess that makes sense," he admitted.  
  
"Will you LISTEN to yourselves?!" Remus cried, who could not find one shred of sense in their entire conversation.  
  
"Mr. Lupin, will you kindly stop talking while I am trying to teach a lesson? A point from Gryffindor for your disrespect," Professor McGonagall said strewdly, before returning to the lesson.  
  
Remus scowled.

* * *

"Peter, how do you manage to make your hair to look so... suave?" asked Sirius that night, as Peter was getting ready for bed. Peter stopped what he was doing and thought for a moment.  
  
"Well, sometimes I brush it," he said, gesturing to his rather simple 'do. Sirius nodded, thinking.  
  
"I see. Thanks, Peter!" he exclaimed, before going to find a brush. He glared at himself in the mirror when he got a glimpse of his hair, which was still refusing to lay flat. He didn't know why it stuck up so much suddenly, but he wasn't about to question it. He tried Peter's suggestion and brushed his hair, but it did nothing to conceal the newfound poofiness. He scowled, and replaced the brush back on the shelf.  
  
He had a long way to go if he wanted to be as suave as Peter. 


	2. A Miracle Child's Been Born!

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns everything. Oh, wait...wrong disclaimer. J.K. Rolling, wonderful woman that she is (although I'm beginning to doubt about that. Read a certain chapter in a certain book) owns all. Sometimes, I think, even me.  
  
Notes: Second chapter, although this was written as one long fic. Shortened for convenience.

* * *

Sirius walked into Potions class late on Tuesday. He had been trying to enchant his shirt so that it was as soiled as Peter's, but somehow the spell had backfired and his shirt was now cleaner than ever. He mourned the loss of the ketchup stain by the collar that he never had. He sat down between James and Peter and glanced down at Peter's ketchup-stained shirt longingly.  
  
"Sirius, you didn't make Peter's bed this morning. Is the spell wearing off?" James asked hopefully. Sirius tore his gaze away from Peter's discreet food stains.  
  
"I was busy ironing his pants," Sirius replied. James deflated visibly.  
  
"Oh," he said, sounding disappointed. "Hey, I didn't kow you could iron. Will you iron my pants, too?"  
  
"I'm not your slave, James," Sirius told him firmly, before pulling his Potions textbook from his bag. James frowned.  
  
"Damn," he muttered, before following Sirius' example and pulling put his textbook.  
  
The professor swept into the room and regarded them all before insisting that they pair up for their next assignment. Sirius turned to Peter immediately.  
  
"Peter, want to be my partner?" he asked. Peter looked at him.  
  
"...Alright," he said brightly, surprised that for once, he had been chosen over James or Remus. James grumbled, and looked around the room. The only person without a partner was a rather flighty-looking Slytherin girl, who had food stuck in her braces. She smiled at James widely, exhibiting her lunch. James winced.  
  
"Alright, children, carefully add the Wolfsbane to your potions..." instructed the Professor. James was glaring at Sirius and Peter from his spot with the Slytherin with the braces, picking up a jar. Sirius gave a loud bark of laugher at something Peter had said, and James noticed that Peter looked surprised that Sirius had laughed. He grinded his teeth. He felt so shunned. He'd never been picked last for anything!  
  
"That's not Wolfs-" began the Slytherin girl as James, without looking, poured the contents of the jar into their cauldron. She was cut off when the potion splattered up with a loud crack, drenching her in a viscous, yellow liquid. James dropped the jar in shock.  
  
"Auugh, it burns!" cried Braces-Slytherin in agony, trying to rub off the potion. She stepped forward and slipped on one of the shards of glass from the jar James had dropped, falling on her back. She cried out in pain, her glasses splattered with yellow potion as she withered in pain on the floor.  
  
"Ehm...sorry?" James offered awkwardly. All the eyes in the classroom were staring at him condesceningly. He laughed nervously as the potions Professor helped the Slytherin girl up and instructed the class to follow the directions on the board while they took her to the hospital wing.  
  
James looked over at Sirius and Peter, expecting to see them looking at him, quietly amused. Sirius was pouring out an orange liquid into a cup that Peter was holding. He wasn't even looking in James' direction. James glared. If nearly killing a Slytherin girl wouldn't tear Sirius away from Peter, what would?  
  
James seethed silently, making sure he put the proper ingredients into the potion this time.

* * *

Padfoot sniffed the air, wagging his tail happily as he caught Wormtail's scent. The full moon hung brightly in the sky as he chased the rat merrily across the field, every so often catching a glimpse of a rat's tail. He could hear Moony padding after him, but he ignored it. He wanted to find Wormtail. Why couldn't HIS animagus form have been a rat?  
  
Moony sped up and jumped in front of him, halting his progress in his quest to find Peter. Padfoot skidded to a halt, looking at Moony questioningly, his ears perking up in impatience. Moony snarled at him, pushing him back whenever he tried to follow Peter.  
  
Padfoot was confused for a moment, before he realized that Moony was trying to keep him from Wormtail. He didn't understand why. Did Moony think that keeping him away from Peter would help the spell wear off faster? He couldn't do that! Padfoot wanted to be around Wormtail, in his human form and animagus form! Peter was just...Peter.  
  
Padfoot barked at Moony, trying to get him to move. Wormtail was getting away! Padfoot looked especially scruffy that night, and it only added to his intimidating image. Moony shook his head slowly, a rather uncharacteristic gesture for a wolf to make, so Padfoot knew he was serious (Peter, thankfully, was in his animagus form and thus unable to speak, but he knew that eventually the reasons keeping him from making a clever pun on Sirius' name would one day be eliminated).  
  
Anger stirred inside the dog. He bared his teeth and lunged at Moony, trying to get him to move. Moony grabbed at his neck, trying to pick him up like wolves did with their cubs to prevent him front going after the rat. Padfoot squirmed madly, trying to get away. He slashed at Moony, trying to get him to let go.  
  
Moony growled, throwing Padfoot to the ground. Padfoot snarled and tried to dart around him again, but Moony wouldn't allow it. He snapped at Padfoot as he neared him, making him back up to avoid being bitten.  
  
A large, majestic stag trotted into the clearing, oblivious to the fight. He looked surprised (or, as surprised as a stag can look) when he saw his two friends fighting. He trotted over to them and stood between them, pushing them apart with his antlers. Padfoot stopped snarling, as did Moony. Both animals looked at the stag blankly. Prongs bowed his head slightly, trying to communicate with them.  
  
Moony stared at Prongs, trying to interpret what Prongs was saying. Padfoot looked at Moony out of the corner of his eye shrewdly. He scratched at his ear, trying to act unsuspicious. While Moony was distracted, Padfoot shot past him, his tongue lolling out of side of his mouth, and resumed his chase. Moony howled and jumped up, chasing after Padfoot. Prongs followed majestically.

* * *

Peter lay on the bed in the Hospital Wing, staring at his broken finger mournfully. He sighed, and looked up at his three friends, who were standing around him. Sirius looked like he was about to cry.  
  
"Are you okay, Peter?" asked Remus, eyeing a can filled with oversized needles nervously. Peter sighed loudly.  
  
"I'll survive," he said dramatically, laying his arm over his forehead and accidently knocking his finger on the headboard. "Ow!" he complained. Sirius glared at the headboard.  
  
"I can only hope that one day I'll be as brave as you, Peter," Sirius said meaningfully. Peter nodded.  
  
"One can only hope," he said sagely, getting quite used to being admired. Sirius smiled. James rolled his eyes. Remus edged away from the needles. The grandfather clock in the Hospital Wing struck seven, startling them and causing Peter to whack his finger again.  
  
"We'd better go, you two," James said. Remus nodded. "Come on, Sirius. See you tomorrow, Peter," James added, turning to leave. He walked forward a few steps before realizing that unless Sirius was quite the light stepper, he couldn't hear the other boy's heavy trod behind him.  
  
He looked back, seeing Sirius still standing at the foot of Peter's bed.  
  
"I'm going to stay here," he announced, sitting down on the bed beside Peter's. James sighed.  
  
"Sirius, you can't. It's just a sprained finger, he'll live," James comforted him. Sirius shook his head.  
  
"But it's my fault he's here!" Sirius stressed, laying down on the hospital bed.  
  
"How? It's not like you PUSHED him down the stairs!" James argued. "It's not your fault he stopped walking abruptly, any person who walks normally would have bumped into him. Nor is it your fault he went hurtling down the stairs!"  
  
"I as good as broke his finger with my own hands!" Sirius cried dramatically.  
  
"Sprained," corrected Remus lightly. Sirius threw an arm over his face.  
  
"Why him, God?! Take me instead!" Sirius cried, raising his arms to the heavens.  
  
"I think that's really getting out of hand, Sirius," Remus pointed out. Sirius scoffed.  
  
"Not when it's Peter!" Sirius stressed.  
  
"Ooh, my finger hurts," Peter announced suddenly. He looked up at Sirius hopefully."Maybe you could just read a little of my musical to me? While I heal?" he asked weakly. Sirius pulled a thick pile of parchment out of his bag, held together with a binder clamp.  
  
"Scene one, act one," Sirius began. Remus and James gave up and left.  
  
"Alan: Saints be praised! A miracle child's been born!" 


	3. It's All Going Downhill From Here

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns everything. Oh, wait...wrong disclaimer. J.K. Rolling, wonderful woman that she is (although I'm beginning to doubt about that. Read a certain chapter in a certain book) owns all. Sometimes, I think, even me.  
  
Notes: Part three, in which it all goes downhill.

* * *

Severus Snape chuckled darkly to himself as he walked down the hall, heading for the Slytherin common room. His plan was working out perfectly. He had seen the effects of the potion take place at breakfast, and he hadn't been found out yet. During a rather loud giggle, he accidentally dropped his History of Magic textbook on his toe.  
  
"Ow!" he exclaimed. Grumbling, he knelt down to pick it up. He stared at the book in his hands in confusion as a large shadow enveloped it. He turned around slowly, shrieking as he was grabbed roughly and shoved against the wall.  
  
"What did you do to Sirius?" asked James, holding Snape against the wall as Remus kept his wand pointed at Snape's chest. Snape struggled, trying to escape.  
  
"He deserved it! He deserves every bit of it!" Snape cried wildly, trying to escape James' grasp.  
  
"No one deserves that! Now, tell us exactly what you did to him," James said, tightening his hold around Snape's throat. Snape began to choke.  
  
"This is abuse!" he exclaimed, kicking at James' shins madly. James backed up slightly, keeping his hnads around Snape's throat. Remus stood there awkwardly, still holding his wand in case something went wrong.  
  
"What spell did you use?" he asked. Snape spit on his shoe.  
  
"Remus, turn him into a pidgeon," James said. Remus gave James a startled look.  
  
"I don't know how-" he began, before he was cut off by James' meaningful stare. "Oh, uh...alright-" Remus swished his wand around awkwardly, trying to look like he knew what he was doing. Snape screeched.  
  
"No! Don't!" he wailed, his efforts at struggling doubled.  
  
"Tell us the spell you used on Sirius!" James hissed. Snape started to sob dramatically. Remus sighed weightedly at the cloak-and-dagger feel of the situation.  
  
"N-nothing too complicated...just a simple spell from, "Simple Spells: Nothing Too Complicated"!" Snape sputtered, trying to breathe with James' hands wrapped firmly around his neck.  
  
"Spells like that aren't exactly easy, Snape," Remus said. Snape looked at him oddly.  
  
"Of course they're easy! Even first years can do simple somatic spells!" Snape choked out.  
  
"...What? I'd hardly call it a somatic spell.It's more of an...idolatry spell," Remus said. Snape looked confused.  
  
"What are you talking about? I just gave him unmanageable bedhead! I don't know anything about any idolatry spell!" Snape protested. James let go of him in surprise.  
  
"I think that's an even worse form of revenge as the Peter- worshipping," Remus commented. Snape raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You mean...you didn't make Sirius awestruck with Peter? Then who did?" James asked incredulously. Snape began to back away darkly, returning to the shadows where he felt safe.  
  
"I don't know.Who has Sirius angered lately?" Remus asked. James thought for a moment.  
  
"Hmm. Oh! He did keep getting that answer wrong in Transfiguration....you know, the one about the spell pronunciation..."  
  
"Are you saying Professor McGonagall cursed Sirius because he got an answer wrong?" Remus repeated doubtfully.  
  
"Well, he just kept coming up with answer after answer, and none of them made any sense at all, although it was pretty funny..." James laughed weakly. "You never know, Moony. Even McGonagall's got to have a dark side."  
  
"Come on, lets go find Sirius," Remus said dismissively, turning and walking down the hall. James followed.  
  
Snape finally snuck away, having been left forgotten, and resumed his cackling. They had found out his evil plan, but they had been so preoccupied with another problem that they had forgotten to extract their revenge! The scales were beginning to tip in his favour. He double over with devious laughter, clutching his stomach as he leaned heavily against the wall of the castle.  
  
"Oh, do give it a rest," announced a suit of armour irritably. Snape's mouth snapped closed. He glared at the suit of armour for a moment, before he turned and sprinted down the hallway, his cloak billowing out behind him (as it tended to do a lot).

* * *

"Snape's innocent," James announced as he and Remus stepped through the portrait hole into the common room. Peter, who had returned from the Hospital Wing, was sitting in a chair, looking exhausted. He was letting Sirius rub his feet. Sirius looked up, his hair resembling a large cotton swab.  
  
"We have to find the counter-curse for that hair," Remus muttered to James. James nodded gravely.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked, slightly offended.  
  
"Come on, Sirius. Your hair looks ridiculous," James said, gesturing to Sirius' dark hair. Sirius sighed.  
  
"I know. I tried to change it to a bowl cut like Peter's, but it didn't work and I can't find any scissors," Sirius said mournfully, sitting back and temporarily abandoning Peter's weary feet. Peter looked miffed, but said nothing. He was quite enjoying the effect the spell had had on Sirius.  
  
"Have you gotten anybody else mad at you lately, Sirius?" Remus asked.  
  
"Uuh..." Sirius thought. "Not lately. I mean, I stepped on McGonagall's foot the other day, but that was an accident. Mostly," Sirius admitted. James gasped.  
  
"I told you so!" he cried enthusiastically. "I always knew it would come to this..." Remus frowned.  
  
"Professor McGonagall did NOT curse Sirius!" Remus stressed. James looked very put-out.  
  
"If McGonagall didn't curse him, then who did?" he asked sulkily, angry that his McGonagall theory hat been shot down.  
  
"I don't know," Remus said, sighing. "I just hope it wears off soon."

* * *

James woke up on Saturday to find Sirius sitting on his four-poster, staring down at a tall pile of parchment thoughtfully.  
  
"Sirius?" he asked the poofy-haired Gryffindor cautiously. It wasn't as bad as it had been a couple days ago, so James assumed that Snape's spell was wearing off. If only other spells would work as fast. Sirius looked up at him quickly.  
  
"I finished it," he said quietly, looking dazed. James grabbed his glasses off his endtable, slid out of bed and padded over to Sirius' four- poster, looking down at the pile of parchment.  
  
"What did you finish?" he asked tiredly, yawning.  
  
"Peter's musical," Sirius replied, chewing on his nail nervously.  
  
"Oh," James said stupidly. "Thats...good," he said awkwardly, toeing the carpet. "Can I see?" Peter walked into the room at this moment with Remus in tow. He gave the room a dazzling smile.  
  
"You want to read it? Are you serious?" Sirius asked. Peter, seeing his chance, responded almost immediately.  
  
"No, YOU'RE Sirius," Peter said, chuckling to himself. Remus and James looked unamused. He looked to Sirius, expecting him of all people to at least crack a smile. He looked pained.  
  
"So...uh," James coughed, trying to be rid of the awkward silence. "...I can read it?  
  
"Sure, go ahead," Sirius said dispassionately, looking to the ground silently. James raised an eyebrow.  
  
"What's wrong?" he said, beginning to skim through the many pages of parchment. He was very quickly intrigued, although he thought Peter's supposed heroism was a bit exaggerated.  
  
"Nothing," Sirius said, looking lost. "It's just...it feels like something's missing for some reason..."  
  
"You writers. So eccentric," James said, shaking his head and reading.  
  
"No, it's not that, it's-" Sirius looked over at Peter, who was grinning at the room conceitedly, as if he was blessing it with his mere presence. "-Why am I writing a musical about PETER?"  
  
Peter's grin faded, although James was too busy reading to notice.  
  
"Why...because I deserve a musical, right, Remus?" Peter asked, turning to Remus for confirmation. Remus looked away quickly and pretended he hadn't heard. James laughed out loud at something on the parchment.  
  
"Does this mean you're cured?" Remus asked. Sirius looked at him like he had three heads.  
  
"What do you mean, 'cured'?" he asked, looking confused. Remus shook his head, sighing.  
  
"Nevermind," he said wearily. Peter, meanwhile, looked like a lost child at Hogsmeade.  
  
"So...nobody idolizes me anymore?" he asked, looking stricken. He placed a bracing hand over his heart.  
  
"I might, after this," James said, gesturing to the parchment he was reading. He refused to pull his eyes away from the script.  
  
"Come on, James. Let's go get some breakfast," Sirius said, rising from his bed. James shook his head.  
  
"You go ahead, Padfoot. I'm busy," he said, gripping the parchment tighter and bringing it closer to his face.

* * *

Sirius wolfed down (Remus appreciated the irony of that statement, sitting across from Sirius) his cereal hungrily. Remus stared at him calmly, before glancing over at James, whom they had convinced to come. His face was still hidden behind the parchment. He shuffled them and turned to the next page, his eyes widening as he did so.  
  
"I feel like I haven't eaten a full meal in days," Sirius remarked, tearing apart a roll.  
  
"You haven't. Peter's grown fond of seconds," Remus said, stirring his own cereal idily. Sirius looked confused.  
  
"What?" he asked, pausing.  
  
"Nothing," Remus said, smiling. Sirius smiled hesitantly back, still confused. James made a strangled gasp as a dramatic twist in Peter's musical unfolded. He clutched at his heart, as if afraid it would explode. Sirius raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Speaking of Peter, where is he?" he asked, realizing for the first time that Peter was nowhere in sight. Remus looked around.  
  
"...I don't know..." he said slowly. Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Wierd," he remarked, before returning to his cereal.

* * *

Meanwhile, deep within Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardly, a short, mousy-looking boy stood hunched in the shadows of a dark, secluded corner, comtemplating the sucess of his idolization spell. True, it had worn off, but he had plenty more jars of the potion shoved down to the bottom of his trunk. He would never be deemed the most unpopular Marauder ever again!  
  
Harry Potter looked down at the youthful Wormtail through the Pensieve and smiled bitterly at the irony of it all.

* * *

Author's Note: I realize that Harry couldn't actually see all that through the Pensieve, seeing as one person wasn't in every scene, but pretend, just for a moment, that Harry only saw part of it, and I've filled in the blanks. There's my excuse. As I said, this is the first Harry Potter fic I've done, so of course the characterization is all off (I guess thats kind of allowed in Humour fics, but it's still no excuse) and I need to get used to the universe, but I had a lot of fun writing this, so I want to write another fic sometime. So, there you go. Reviews would be appreciated! Thanks!  
  
-L 


End file.
